Pre-Teen Weaponry by Oneida

Here it is. Supposedly three years in the making, The New Oneida album. I'd been waiting about 2 years since their last one.

They introduced this song at a show in April, saying "this is our new album. Eat it." What followed was a monster 20-30 minute jam with three distinct parts. All three are replicated on this album. Part one sounds like about five other unrecorded Oneida songs. This isn't a bad thing. Bo Diddley was at his most successful when he recycled that Bo Diddley beat. And Oneida is at their best when they're playing what I will call the Oneida Pulse. This involves Kid Millions laying down a punishing beat on the drums while Bobby plays a steady throbbing bassline on the organ. It's usually left to Jane to help us tell the songs to part (the 2nd guitarist tends to stay somewhere in the background pretty consistently). Sometimes he plays angry (I will Haunt You, Ghost in the Room), sometimes he plays calm (The River...). Unfortunately, on this song, he does neither. Sure, there's a riff in there somewhere, but for the most part, the guitars are just there for the background.

A slow bassline comes in towards the end of the song (actually, it's too close to the middle for my tastes) that slowly winds things down. The last time I saw them play this live, Bobby decided to tear things up on the bass guitar (the bass in question looked like it had been stolen from a metal band). No such luck on the album. The song fades to noise before spilling into part 2. While part 2 doesn't have the same frenzied energy as part 1, it is probably more consistent. Here, the song slows down dramatically and is driven by a slow ominous bassline. The guitars finally pickup, and we even get some singing. Just don't ask me what they're (they being Jane, but you'll never be able to figure out who's singing on any of their albums), singing. While less visionary (it conjures heavy 70s stoner metal), this part is still a fun ride....and then we get noise leading us to...

Part 3 is a giant downer, live and on the album. This is where Oneida indulges their worst noodling tendencies. Basically, the band just plays until they get bored and quit. They never really develop any sort of melody worth following. And every time it sounds like they're about to really let loose, they stop. A few minutes from the end, Jane checks out almost entirely whenever they play it live. Unfortunately, Bobby and Millions can amuse each other long after everyone else has gotten bored and gone home. That being said, part 3 comes closer to success on the album than it does live.

I realize this sounds like a pretty mediocre review. And maybe it is. I know this band is capable of so much more both live and in the studio. That being said, I still haven't grown tired of this album more than a week after purchasing it, and if they open their next show with Pre-Teen Weaponry like they have the past two times, I'll be right up front dancing the entire time. It's fucking Oneida. How could I complain?

All three are replicated on the album.
It's just one long three-part song. Each part is somewhere between 10 and 15 minutes long. Part one should be the most exciting. This is the throbbing jam that has become a trademark of their live shows. Not this one necessarily. They have about five songs that follow this formula. Bobby plays a solid bassline on his organ, Kid Millions lays down an amazing propulsive beat and Jane and the other guitarist lay on the noise or killer riffs. Only this one lacks the riffs. Instead, everything is buried under noise. Not that that's a bad thing.